Wind
by incognita visage
Summary: goodbye haruko... hello rukawa...[shounen-ai, hanaru]
1. Wind

Title: Wind 

Summary: Goodbye Haruko... Hello Rukawa...

Warning: Shounen-ai, Angst

Author's Notes: It's been a long time since I ever wrote a fanfiction. Hope you'll forgive me for my "rustyness"...

Disclaimer: I don't own Slam Dunk... infact, i don't think i own anything...

"..." dialouge

'...' thought

x.:-Wind-:.x

Sakuragi's POV-

"I love you..."

Damn it! Is that so hard to say! Maybe it's not so hard... maybe it's just too hard. Those words I've kept unspoken for too long... just too long. And everyday, it gets harder and harder to get through this lonely life.

Blinded and victimized by love, hoping that one day, she'll love me... my one and only, Haruko.

But who am I kidding! She doesn't even love! So how the hell can she actually get to even like me! I can't believe I've been calling her mine, when all along, she never really was... and never will be.

I've been waiting for too long, and it's driving me crazy. I won't be able to live another day sane if this goes on. I need to put an end to this, to this foolish fantasy!

But wait Sakuragi... I need to keep my hopes up! Am I just going to throw away all my efforts like that! Everything I've done... for her?

Yet, if I keep fighting, the more I'll hurt. It's agonizing to know that person you love, with all your heart, life and soul, is just beside you... but you can never have her. And it just hurts too much... too much that I can't bear the pain anymore.

I'm just struggling to stay alive... until I hear your voice saying that you love me. I'm going to loose my mind... Someone tell me why I chose this life! This superficial lie... this constant compromise... this endless sacrifice... for her.

The truth is, I've been waisting time... I've been isolated from everyone else. And the emptyness inside, is growing deeper and deeper... and I'm sinking to the bottom of lonelyness.

I can't blame anyone for what I'm going through right now. This pain is self-inflicted anyway... I was just too blind to see that her heart was captivated by someone else. And that someone wasn't me... It never was and never will...

It was Rukawa.

Yes, Rukawa! The coldest and most arrogant person I have ever met! And of all the people she had to fall inlove with, it had to be him! I despise him! I resent his whole being!

And because of being infatuated with her, I've learned to hate him so much... yet he has done nothing wrong. I've truly lost my sanity! Going to the extent of actually, actually saying that the living block of ice has done nothing wrong! Oh well, that's it for me... I've lost it...

I'll have to let her go... She isn't mine anyway...

Goodbye, Haruko... I love you...

Wait, I loved you...

I glance at you

Maybe for one last time

Though I know it could kill me

My feelings reach the breaking point

Yet there's nothing I can do

Shattered dreams kept in a broken bottle

A knife piercing through my heart

The sadness embraces me

When I long for your arms to hold me

The wind has blown everyone away

But has left the memories behind

The shattered dreams still kept

in the broken bottle

My feelings just spinning in the air

So near yet so far

A barrier between us that shuns you from me

The farther the cruel distance sets us apart

The more my heart feels the unbearable pain

And so

I glance at you

For one last time

And deep inside it kills me

My feelings reach the breaking point

Yet there's nothing I can do

I let you slip through my hands

Like sand that the wind blows away

The memories of you will stay with me

But I've learned to let you go...

end of POV-

With the last tears that rolled down his cheeks, he laid his head face-down on the tear-stained pillow... Tomorrow's going to be a new day and a new beginning... or will the past continue to dwell in him?...

TBC...

Why is it shounen-ai? You'll find out later... Thanks for reading, reviews/flames please! Hmmm... Sakuragi seems to be overreacting on this one... my fault!


	2. Blossoming Flowers

Title: Blossoming Flowers

Author's Notes: This is absurd... I'm so sorry for such a crappy story... TT

"..." Dialouge

'...' Thoughts

x.:-Rooftop Revelations-:.x

"Meet me after school on the rooftop..." The white crumpled paper said written in black, messy handwriting. There was no name which was supposed to indicated who it came from, nevertheless, Youhei knew who sent it anyway.

"Hanamichi..."

Curiosity and confusion has started to take over him. 'What is this all about?...'

It seemed like an eternity before the class finally ended. And the heat of the scorching sun didn't make it feel any better nor shorter.

Youhei didn't have to worry about being late on his little appointment with Hana that afternoon... he was always, I mean always late anyway.

As he walked up the staircase going to the rooftop and opened the door, his eyes widened with shock when he found Hana sitting on the ledge, sulking and wearing such a forlorn face.

"Ha...Hanamichi!"

Could his eyes be decieving him! The red-headed monkey who is always, and i mean always late is already there... before Youhei! For the first time in his life, Youhei was actually late for his "little" appointment with Hana!

'This... is really serious. Something's gotten into him... he's never this eager to talk to me that he actually came first and this sad to actually be sulking there.'

Youhei briskily walked towards his friend and sat down beside him.

"What's wrong Hana, no money again?" he mockingly joked, trying to snap his friend out of his "oh-so-very-sad" state.

"No Youhei. It's not that." Hana non-chalantly yet sadly replied.

'He isn't even mad about that joke... he usually over-reacts to my jokes. I wonder what's wrong with him... he's still lost in his daze...'

"Youhei... I'm giving up on Haruko. I'll let her go now. I'm just wasting my precious time on her. Who needs her anyway! I've been busted by 50 other girls who don't care! Wait... correction, I've been busted by 50 and 1 voluntary busted girl. Geniuses are always right!

'Sheesh, and I thought he was serious... But this is a big thing to him... Letting go of a girl he's been crazy about for-ever.'

"Anyway... Even though she was the reason why I joined basketball, I'm not giving up! I'll make her regret she didn't love me and that she chose Rukawa over me!"

"Rukawa! Not...Kitsune?"

'Rukawa! He didn't call him kitsune! He's lost it...'

"Oh yeah... about him..."

-----------------------

Meanwhile, Rukawa made his away up the staircase going to the rooftop. He was about to take his usual nap before practice.

'What a crappy day..." He said or rather mumbled to himself.

As he got closer and closer, he heard voices on the rooftop.

'Hn, looks like people got there first. But I need my nap...might as well scare them away...'

As he opened the door, he heard a familiar voice saying:

"About Rukawa... I hate everything about him.. but since I let go of Haruko, I'll let my anger cease. I mean... It's hard to admit it... but it's plain stupid to get mad at someone who's done nothing wrong. And geniuses aren't stupid at all! I guess... I'll try to make things better...with him."

Rukawa froze. His mind was in alarm and he didn't know what to do. He didn't even know who was behind that voice. Hell, it sounded familiar but he was just too shocked and confused to figure out who it was.

'Make things better... with me?...'

So he did what his instict told him... open the door a little and peep.

And so he did...

and she saw...

'Sa...Sakuragi!' What the!'

He shut the door and took a step back. He almost lost his balance but held onto the stair rail. He felt the heat on his face increasing, he had jagged breathing and sweat trickling down his pale and handsome face as he ran to the men's bathroom.

-----------------------

"Youhei, did you hear anything?" Hana asked.

"I think it was just the door."

"Oh, i knew that. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you tensai's plans!" Hana said snapping out of his daze and jolting up as though he was shocked by electricity. He put a thumbs up and put the free hand on his waist.

"So, how'd you like it?" He grins sheepishly.

"That's great, Hana..."

"Glad you like it!"

'Good. He's back on tensai mode... I can rest in peace now.' Youhei thought, smiling to himself.

-----------------------

Rukawa slamed the door shut inside the mens' bathroom and ran to the sink. He could see his pale feature with a streak of crimson red on the cheeks. He both hands on the sink and leaned on it for support.

'What am I doing! Why the hell are my cheeks red... impossible... I can't be... blushing?...'

It was obvious and the mirror said it, or showed it rather. He washed his face and looked back at the mirror. The blush was still there, but it was only a faint streak left.

'What the hell was that stupid monkey saying! My ears... must be decieving me... I can't let this affect me. No, I'm not affected at all. Why should I be? He just said he doesn't hate me anymore... he doesn't... and he wants to make things better... with me...'

And there it was, the bright red flowers bloomed on his pale features again.

'Damn it... What the hell is wrong with me! This is absurd! Bullcrap!'

So he washed his face again, but this time, kept the water a little longer on his face. Then he looked up, the flower was gone. All that was left was the pale skin on his face. He touched his cheeks with his soft, thin but large hands.

'My face...feels warm... when i blush...'

Then he made a fist and slammed it no the sink.

'To hell with this! Damn you stupid monkey! I need to fix myself.. I swear.'

So he calmly walked out of the bathroom and made his way to practice.

"Practice!" He mumbled

'I'm late! and my bag, it's on the stair case near the rooftop! Bullcrap!'

Again, he runs to the rooftop stairs and spots his bag.

Just as he reaches for it...

Sakuragi opens the door.

"Thanks for your time Youhei!"

Then he looks down and sees Rukawa about to grab his bag.

"Rukawa..."

Rukawa doesn't even look at him and just grabs the bag and briskily walks down the stairs. And in the process, he drops his towel, which he put over his bag. It was left unnoticed... but not to Sakuragi.

He picks up the white towel and studies it.

"I'll return it later...And maybe... Rukawa and I can talk..." He sighs.

'Just maybe...'

TBC...

Thanks for reading and tolerating with my absurd writing! reviews? flames? throw it at me... 


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